In On Saying Please, Alfred George Gardiner discusses the simple yet powerful impact of politeness in human interactions. He argues that small words like “please” and “thank you” not only improve our daily communication but also help to maintain respect and civility in our lives.

The essay begins with an incident involving a young lift man working in a city office. One day a passenger enters the lift and asks to be taken to the top floor. The lift man requests that the passenger say “please”. The passenger refuses, repeating his demand without any polite request. Angered by this the lift man throws the passenger out of the lift and this lead him fine from the company for his misbehavior.

This incident revolves around the simple word “please,” a word that can avoid unnecessary conflict and create a polite atmosphere. Had the passenger used the word “please,” the situation would have been different. Similarly, if the lift man had ignored the rudeness, he could have avoided the whole problem. Gardiner uses this situation to highlight how important respect and polite language are in maintaining peaceful interactions.

Gardiner then delves into the concept of emotional pain, which he believes is far more harmful than physical pain. Physical pain is temporary, but emotional pain, such as an attack on one’s self-respect, can linger much longer. In this case, the lift man’s self-respect was attacked when the passenger refused to be polite. As a result, the lift man took out his frustration on the passenger. This shows how frustration and anger can be passed from one person to another in an unbroken chain. For instance, a father who is scolded by his boss may go home and take out his frustration on his wife, who in turn may vent on the children. This cycle of frustration can spread if we do not manage our emotions properly.

Gardiner emphasizes that bad manners often cause more harm than small misdeeds. There are no laws that demand politeness, but the words “please” and “thank you” can make a big difference in how we interact with others. Politeness is not just for formal occasions—it is a way of showing respect and consideration. By using these small words, we can make our lives easier and more humble, creating a positive environment where people treat each other with kindness.

He continues by pointing out that one cannot expect others to treat them well if they themselves do not act politely. When we speak kindly to others, they are more likely to respond in the same manner. Gardiner suggests that politeness is key to building mutual respect and understanding, regardless of who we are dealing with.

To further support his argument, Gardiner offers an example from William Wordsworth’s poem The Leech Gatherer. In the poem, Wordsworth learns valuable life lessons from a poor, humble man. Gardiner uses this to show that no matter who a person is, we can always learn something from them. It is a reminder that respect and politeness should be extended to all, regardless of their social status.

Gardiner also discusses how the impact of the World Wars has made people more cynical and less polite. Once kind and trusting, people have become more guarded and self centered and politeness has taken a backseat. In a world where people are often sharp and distrustful, Gardiner urges us to rediscover the importance of politeness and kindness. It is essential to fight against the decline in manners and work toward a more courteous society.

In the final part of the essay, Gardiner advises the lift man to be polite to his passengers. By doing so, he could have made the passenger feel embarrassed and realize his mistake without resorting to anger. “The polite may lose the material advantage, but he always has the spiritual victory.” This is the essence of the essay—the true victory lies in maintaining one’s dignity and showing respect, even when others are rude.

Gardiner ends with another example involving a bus conductor. The writer recalls how, once, when he forgot his money, the conductor allowed him to travel without paying. Later, when the writer found the money, he paid the conductor back. This small gesture of kindness earned the conductor the writer’s respect. When the conductor accidentally stepped on the writer’s foot, he immediately apologized and the writer did not mind, showing that politeness can turn even uncomfortable situations into positive ones.

In conclusion On Saying Please teaches us that politeness is not just about using certain words but about fostering respect and consideration in our daily lives. These simple words “please” and “thank you” can transform our relationships and make the world a better place for everyone.